I like David Spade and I am probably not a feminist.

Do I get the “worst mom of all times award” just for liking David Spade’s book? I mean, I had no clue! I thought it was hilarious and I was also totally under the impression that David and I were best friends because:

  1. We basically lived the same life in high school.
  2. He (or his social media people, although he doesn’t strike me as the guy who has social media people) liked my instagram post.

There! Best friends.

So then I read some of the reviews and I learned that basically, in order to be a good person, I should not have liked it, apparently. Or maybe I shouldn’t be saying out loud that I liked it… like some of you.

I did actually think I was doing something wrong when the porn chapter came. The whole time I was listening to it, I was thinking: “Wow… Sophia Bush ain’t gonna like this.”

I supposed that was not too feminist of me.

Don’t get me wrong. I was raised to be the most feminist girl on the block. My dad always says he raised me to be independent because he watched his mom suffer so much when she was being abused by his father. She had 6 kids and nowhere to run. She had to accept the affairs and the violence and that was a big part of my dad’s speech when I was growing up.

Then again…

My dad is ALSO the one who said “Geez… I raised you to be the man of the house but maybe what you are doing is a little TOO MUCH?”

I was talking to one of my most feminist friends who had recently had a baby and our conclusion was: I just wanna sleep. Screw feminism. Let them work. I’ll stay home. I just wanna sleep. Forever. Just sleep through a night. Thank you.

So, yeah, I like having my voice and my independence but whenever I see someone else’s daily routine on instagram starting with “I SIT DOWN to have breakfast and then I DO MY HAIR AND MAKE UP” I’m like: I quit independence!!! I want THAT! I grab a diet coke to go every morning and *maybe* twice a month I’ll brush my hair before I tie it into a bun and go to work, people. I am freaking tired! 98 out of 100 days, I wish I was baking pies all day!

I guess we all learned from this book that David Spade is a jerk. Well, that explains it. I probably like jerks. I am probably a jerk too. As long as he makes me laugh, I am totally cool with it.

Ps: I still love you

I refuse to start this post by saying *spoiler alert* ’cause if you’re thinking there’s a major twist on the second book like Lana Jean goes to the army to save Peter, who now only has one leg, and they struggle to cross the border together after a series of dramatic events you are even more of a lunatic than I am!

Seriously, guys. Nothing really happens. Again. Except, this time not even cute-letters-going-around happen. The movie is suppose to portrait a “real” relationship now. I mean, as real as high school relationships can be.

I get it, I get it… movies are unrealistic and supposed to make us want more from real life. Movies also make people infinitely unsatisfied with their own lives as they seek for perfect relationships that don’t actually exist and that is a potential problem in our society. But, cooooome on! Did Peter Kavinsky really HAVE TO turn out so ordinary? This is the guy that in the first movie made all of us question our marriages because our husbands were clearly not Peter enough! And now he is just… meh.

In fact, the whole movie, to me, was kinda meh. But fortunately, one thing remains perfect: Lana Jean’s bedroom!

I love colorful teenage rooms so much, I should probably mention it in therapy. The shades of blue and pink just go all around the spectrum in a very wide angle and make me instantly happy. And not just me! YOU TOO! Warm colours actually produce serotonin so you might wanna rethink that off-white stuff you’ve got going on in your living room if you happen to be struggling with depression.

I mean… they must have spent all the budget for the sets on Lana Jean’s room because the living room turned out pretty ordinary except for the ridiculous amount of blue books they had on the shelf. Talk about judging a book by it’s cover. I can only imagine the work those interns had to do browsing indigo for blue books… and then they had to find pillows and flowers that magically matched the wardrobe. Just like real life.

The first movie had a little story. Super silly, but extremely cute. The other day, I was not feeling well, and I just laid in bed and watched that first movie again. It’s a nice little thing to put on if you wanna fall asleep and just slow down. It felt good. I doubt I’ll ever find a reason to watch the second movie again, except maybe going over this scenes to stare at this gorgeous combination of yellow, bue and red.

Fine… I still might take a peek at the third book of the series before the third movie comes out (if it does) ’cause even though it’s not my favorite, I just can’t hate it.

Oh! And yes, I did notice Maddie as a cheerleader!

Jesus Christ, I have the mind of a 16 year old…

Booksmart ( a.k.a. Superbad, for girls )

Booksmart is one of those movies about teenagers that are not supposed to be watched by unsupervised teenagers. So, my guess is… it’s a movie for parents (much like “13 reasons why”)… so there’s nothing weird about the fact that I have already watched it 3 times in a month, right?

I may be just me, or the fact that I did nothing but study really hard in my high school years, but I absolutely lived through this movie! I tend to do that a lot. Teenage comedies have been my thing since I was a teenager and actively knew I was not enjoying those years properly… but of course, back in my day, I was watching “16 candles” and “The Breakfast club” , which were not exactly R-rated.

This is actually the only downside of booksmart for me. Being a parent of young kids, I can’t let this movie play on on the background all day, every day as I do with “Ferris Bueller’s day off” just to create a vibe in the house.

All that aside, I had really big expectations for Beanie Feldstein, after all she IS Jonah Hill’s sister… and I was not let down! She absolutely funny and reminds me a lot of Jonah! Both the eyes and the acting style.

It broke my heart when I hard Jonah say in the “Life is Short” podcast how bad he felt when he was overweight, specially in his teenage years and how proud he was of Beanie for how strong she is towards criticism. I absolutely just wanted to hug him. I have a special place in my heart for people who can crack me up. It is rare, people.

Beanie’s co-star, Kaitlyn Dever has been in another interesting project called “Unbelievable”, which I haven’t watched yet because I am CLEARLY a silly-movies person. I mean… real life gives me enough heart palpitations as it is…

I love it. I just love it. I love that we get to see Lisa Kudrow , Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte and I also love that each member of the cast was so carefully picked. I foresee this is gonna be a “Mean Girls” situation where everyone in the cast endup being very successful.

Fun fact. As the professional stalker that I am, I was forced to google most members of the cast and I found out that “Nick” ( Mason Gooding ) is Cuba Gooding Jr.’s son. Talk about big shoes to fill! You guys remember “Radio”? I am pretty sure that movie gave me a panic attack… I’m glad I quit that serious-movies stuff long ago.

I must mention that there’s another thing I love about this movie. Even though it’s set in 2019, the unsaturated colors give it a very 90’s vibe! And other than my kids, It’s safe to say the 90’s are my favorite thing in the world! Well, considering I keep trying to seek the experiences I never had as a teenager, my love for the 90’s would be kind of predictable.

Gee.. I hope I sound normal enough.

Oh well… that should be the least of my concerns by this point!

Funko Pops

NOOOOOOOO!!! I don’t wanna be the person who will skip a perfectly balanced meal so she can afford a snoopy funko pop… but I see it happening. Let me make a note here and say: the kids are eating fine. It is MY own meal I’ll skip.

I actually have to slow myself down here ’cause I could go manic mode super easily when it comes to collecting toys. I love toys, I think I would be great at designing toys and I absolutely overbuy toys for my kids just because I mostly want them for myself!

So far, my pop collection is borderline normal and not actually borderline borderline-personality like the ones that belong to some instagrammers out there with over 1000 funkos. Yeah, I see you and you need therapy (but then again, we all do).

Most of all, I love taking pictures of my toys and creating sceneries. You know, like Tim Burton does, except with serious budget limits in my case.

Charlie Brown is by far my favorite undefinedbut I also like photographing colorful ones like snow white…

How Canada has turned me into a worse person.

I am now going to use the first post of my soon-to-be very popular blog to warn newcomers of something a little less obvious than the low temperatures of the country that welcomed my family with wary arms: Canada will most likely turn you into the talkative old lady you used to run away from.

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The lack of human communication brought on by the fact that all your friends and family were instantly gone overnight will bring up your anxiety levels as you wait in line at the walmart just HOPING the cashier will ask youHow is your day? ” . And BOY, will you give your answer a lot of thought!

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As a result, my dad is avoiding me. When he calls, which is 3 times a day, he can’t start with your regular “Hi! How are you?” anymore. He says it’s because my answer will be TOO HONEST and TOO LONG. He is right about that.

I started therapy just so a poor soul would be obligated to talk to me for a whole hour But then I couldn’t afford it anymore. So, I started a blog to have as many conversations as I want with a screen.

I tried making friends but I guess I am just plain annoying.  I mean, my kids are homeschooled. I am THAT person. People don’t like me, I don’t like people. I thought I’d fit in perfectly in the middle of nowhere.

Well, I was wrong.

So, thank you in advance for all of you who comment. I know there will be a lot. And rest assured that I will be answering very thoughtfully and carefully the smallest most irrelevant questions you ask.

Tch-tchau!